


Hallelujah

by Middleearthisbeautiful



Category: The Lord of the Rings - J. R. R. Tolkien, The Silmarillion and other histories of Middle-Earth - J. R. R. Tolkien
Genre: F/M, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-29
Updated: 2016-12-29
Packaged: 2018-09-13 03:35:58
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,995
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9104926
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Middleearthisbeautiful/pseuds/Middleearthisbeautiful
Summary: Love is not a victory marchIt 's a cold and it 's a broken hallelujahFinrod told him that he screams when he is sleep"Everyone has their own nightmares and memories"celebrimbor saidHe has made mistakes and he knows pain and how it feels like to love someoneHe is a changed man.He tried to forget his memories but one can not run from the past one should learn from it





	

**Author's Note:**

> Every character belongs to mr.tolkien  
> And the song belongs to mr.leonard cohen  
> I hope you enjoy it:)

Well, I heard there was a secret chord ,  
That Manwë played and it pleased the Lord  
But you don't really care for music,do you?

They said i am lucky,that I am forgiven.That I can live in Aman again.  
They don't understand.I rather die so I don't need to live with all these memories.  
"Memories are painful" i told Finrod.He agrees .  
"We are changed mens,we are not what we were once,I believe anyone who went to middle-earth came back as a new person.we all have our own scars and memories from that land.yes,we have changed,I don't know for the best or worst ,I just know we have changed."  
Finrod told me once.  
He is right .I remember how he was before he left aman now he is different,darker,wiser  
He loved Amairë.perhaps he still do .  
"I could not marry her,once it was my dream to have her as my own but not anymore."Finrod said.  
He was afraid i felt it when he said that.he was afraid that his darkness would destroy her light.he was afraid that she can't understand him that he would scare her.  
Well it goes like this:  
The fourth,the fifth,the minor fall and the major lift  
The baffled king composing Hallelujah

 

I saw her.Melian the queen of Doriath and Elwë,elu thingol,the king of Doriath.  
She smiled to Finrod and me but her smile did not reach her eyes,she had lost her child to an unknown destiny.  
The  beautiful luthién who i met when my father and uncle imprisoned her.  
My father from whom i learned how to craft.My cold intelligent father who died while he was fighting luthién son.  
My uncle who i loved so much,celegorm the fair who even huan, his most beloved companion ,left him.  
I remember him before we left aman.  
He was so happy so bright. He went to hunt with Aredhel who died in gondolin whose son betrayed turgon for his love.  
I remember how he cried when he heard of Aredhel death,It was the first time he cried .the second time i heard from tales was when curufin my father his beloved brother died and then he died with him following him even in his death.  
   
Well your faith was strong but you needed proof  
My faith in my father wavered in Nargothrond ,It was the first time i truly understood the doom of that oath .fëanor 's oath .  
And that was when i promised myself that I won't fall like them that i will not make fëanor's mistake that i would craft for the sake of my people.  
And he knew it.sauron ,Annatar,knew it and he used it against me.

 

You saw him coming to you  
His beauty and the moonlight overthrew ya

It was night When he enters your city.  
He wore a simple white cloak.his golden hair shone under the moonlight his eyes like molten gold and face as white as snow.You knew at that moment that this creature didn't belong in middle-earth .he was like a light in the darkness.you didn't knew that it is viceversa.  
He promised you knowledge.  
"I don't trust him .why he came here?it is unlike for the Ainur to came  here"Artanis said  
The lady of light whose hair shines in the light. who i once loved .who choose another ,celeborn of doriath. who fëanor begged three times for one strand of her hair.  
I told her that i don't trust  him either.  
"I am willing to give him a chance.melian too is an ainur and she came to middle-earth.and with thingol they made the kingdom of doriath."i told her.  
"Which is now destroyed"but she did't say anything else.

 

He tied you to his torture chair  
He broke your throne and he cut your hair  
And from your lips he drew the Hallelujah.

He taught you how to create the rings .the rings which you thaught were mean to make the world a better place not to destroy it.  
But afterall he decieved you into believing that ,in seeing what he want,in loving him.  
well at least it hurt less believing that he decieved you in loving him too.  
It was a beautiful  night,the feast of spring.you were all sitting around the fire .  
"My lord Annatar,will you dance for us i saw men and dwarves and elves dance but not one of the holy ones"Narvi your dear friend said.  
He laughed and suddenly he started to dance.his movement was graceful and he dance as if he was telling a story of men and elves who fight in wars .of sacrifice .Of pain ,And of hope.some started to cry. when he stoped everyone cheared and hearts were full of hope and joy for the future and they all started to work harder to achieve their dreams.

 

Baby ,I 've been here before  i 've seen this room,i 've walked this floor  
I used to live alone before i knew ya

I felt it when he created the ring and i knew that he betrayed us but i just could not believe it that the man  who i trust and who i love has betrayed us.  
He came with an army .he wanted the rings.he killed the people who he once called brother and he destroyed the place he once called home. I saw the malice in his eyes and i asked myself why i've  never saw it before and how could i called such a vile creature my friend,my brother.  
He told me that it was me who first betrayed him by creating the three ring.he tortured me ,he told me that he would take everything that i love from me but there was not anything to take afterall he took everything from me when he betrayed me and killed my friends.death was a mercy that he at last gave to me.

And i've seen your flag on the marble arch  
And love is not a victory march  
It's a cold and it's a broken Hallelujah

After the war of wrath,we found Elrond and Elros ,the lost twins of ëarendil and elwing,they have turned into bright and proud adults. One day they came to my forge and i asked what they want.  
"You are one of them are'nt you?"elros said  
"Who?" I said  
"What my brother is trying to say is that you are a fëanorian arent you?"elrond said  
"I am."i said  
"Then you understand us.when we said that we were raised by maglor everyone looked at us with pity in their eyes but we are not sad actually we loved them both. maglor and maedhros taught us many things we love them but they don't. they can't understand .i hope you do after all you are a feanorian."elrond said  
I don't know what to say .i've never taught about it before.i tried to forget them to forgive them but i was not successful .  
I taught about maedhros the tall.the first son of fëanor with red hear and golden tongue.  
I remember him before the oath .he was a great man and he loved too much he loved his father .he loved his brothers and he loved his cousin fingon. but he was afraid too .he was afraid of losing them .he wanted to make everyone happy and satisfied but it was not always possible.  
He was different and dark after he was rescued by fingon .  
He protested with fëanor when he wanted to burn the ships but he loved his father too much to disobey him to abandon him.  
They said he lost himself completly when fingon died .they said that he buried him himself.  
"Don't think that love is an answer to your problems dear celebrimbor ,cause love is decieving with its beauty but it is cruel inside."maedhros told me  
I remember dear maglor who was sad and beautiful maglor whose voice was beautiful they said he sang of regret and of sadness before he drown himself and the silmaril in the sea .perhaps he wanted to clean himself of the dark deeds that he had done.  
Celegorm and curufin my beloved uncle and father who i loved dearly.when i said to crufin that i will stay in nargothrond, that i am ashamed of being his son, he told me that he had none ,and he left me.a month before their deaths. uncle celegorm came to nargothrond  
"How do you came here if orodreth find out he will..."i said  
"He will not, if you don't tell him.i came  here because i needed to speak with you about your father."he said  
"I have no father"i said  
"I will die one day because of you or your father idiocy. He need you typlë ,he love you.he doesn't speak to anyone except me anymore, and he does not craft anymore .he seems dead."he said  
And he was. the oath destroy them both  
I remember cranathir who died in doriath as well. He was the one who was less darker than his brothers .he loved a mortal woman,haleth, they said like aegnor and andreth.  
Amrod and Amras the twins they were happy and funny until one of them died in Aqualondë when fëanor burnt the ships. they never spoke of that event it was not a good memory at all .and so the other ,lost a part of himself.  
They did many horrible things they killed Their own kin and they burnt many houses but they were good once and they were my family i could not change that.and i love them.  
"Yes i understand"i said to Elrond and Elros.

 

Maybe there is a god above  
But All i've ever learned from love  
 was how to shoot at someone  
Who outdrew ya  
And it's not a cry that you hear at night  
It's not somebody who's the light  
It's a cold and it's a broken Hallelujah

 

Finrod told me that some night i scream while i am sleep  
"Well everyone has their own nightmares"i said  
He doesn't tell anything about my nightmares again but i know he is worried.  
Before sauron killed me ,i looked at his eyes and asked myself that why i still love him ,why it hurts so much.  
"You could still stop all of this, i will forgive you.I am ready to sacrifice everything, if it means that you will stop ,that you will change for the best."i told him   
"Dear typlë,if you really care about me told me where the rings are and then i will stop all of this and everything will be allright"he said  
He could not understand  
"I will never tell you where they are.I saw the light in you, i knew there was still good in you but you destroyed yourself when you created that ring can't you see.it is even decieving you. it is destroying you.i know you can not understand love annatar.but i loved you and that is why i will not tell you where the rings are."  
He then laughed a cruel laugh. "Dear typlë,How naive you are."he said. they shoot at me  and the last thing i saw was him.  
And the last thing i heard was Hallelujah i taught it was me .  
It was him.  
After all he did understand .

 

I 've loved,i've cried  and i've made mistakes in my life, but that is the way of life and when our hopes waver then there will come love that makes us accept the pain and keep going one, No love is not an answer but it is not  cruel as well.  
It is a broken Hallelujah

**Author's Note:**

> I hope you enjoy it:)


End file.
